Roberto
by passionatevampire
Summary: Oneshot. Bella has a plan. And hot? Roberto is in on it! Plz R


Hi readers! This story is a little weird. A friend in my English class wouldn't stop talking about a guy named Roberto (Row-bert-toe) so to shut her up, I told her I would write a story about him. (She wanted Bella to love him.) So this story is weird. (Duh)

Roberto

I was sitting outside when I felt stone arms wrap around my waist.

"Good Morning, Bella." Edward pressed his lips against my neck. I pulled away.

"Hi." I turned around to look at him. He looked slightly confused and hurt at my rejection. I sighed. This is going to be hard. I should have taken up acting.

"Edwardwehavetobreakup.Imetsomeoneelse!" The words spilled out of my mouth at top speed.

"What!?" He jumped to his feet and started rambling.

"What? Why? OMC, did Jacob threaten you? I will beat the sh-"

"Edward! Stop. It's not Jacob." _So hard not laugh right now_.

Edward's frantic eyes reached mine.

"Then who is it?"

I sighed and played with a piece of grass.

"It's Roberto."

"Who the hell is Roberto??"

"He's a man I met."

"Why him, may I ask?"

"Because he gave me a pet chicken." _Don't laugh._

Edward's mouth dropped open.

"Bella, are you feeling alright?"

I jumped up.

"Of course I'm alright! What a stupid question! Chicken you, Edward Cullen! Roberto is a real man! He knows how to cut down a tree and he loves chickens!"

"Bella, have you had any alcohol recently?"

I turned to face him.

"I'm intoxicated by Roberto and his manliness!"

Edward raised his eyebrows.

"Ummm…. are you sure he's real???"

"Excuse me? You think I'm making this up?" I stomped my foot.

Edward shifted his feet.

"Well…"

I pointed my finger at his car.

"Give me the keys, Edward, we're going to go see him."

"Bella you're not in any condition to drive my car."

I grabbed the keys from his hands, ignoring what he said. I jumped in the car, started it up, and Edward barely made it in before I was down the driveway.

I pushed the pedal down and the speed rose to over 80.

"Bella, slow down!"

I ignored him and started mumbling.

"Doesn't think he's real. Bahh…of course he is. Silly boy."

Edward looked over at me and sighed.

"This is going to be interesting."

I finally drove up to Roberto's drive way. Trees surrounded it and at the end was a small wooden cabin. I drove down the dirt road and parked the car. As I stepped out of the car, a deep voice echoed through the trees.

"Bella, chicke-poo!"

I ran towards Roberto and swung my arms around him. Which was a little hard. He kind of has a beer belly. He also has a patch of brownish-white hair on the top of his head. He was wearing a lumberman jacket and a pair of old jeans. He kinda looks like a hot Santa Claus. He picked me up and swung me around. I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Roberto nodded towards Edward.

"Whose that hun?"

I turned to look at Edward. He had a look between shock and hysteria on his face. I don't blame him, Roberto is double my age, and isn't usually the type of person I show interest in. _Looks like he's falling for it though._

"That's Edward. Remember, we talked about him?"

Edward's P.O.V 

This is too funny. He looks like an old truck driver. I was standing there staring at them when Roberto offered me his hand.

"Nice to meet you Edward."

I smiled and shook his hand. I was temped to break it, but settled on squeezing it hard enough that it started to turn bright red. Bella glared at me. What is up with her?

Roberto turned back to Bella.

"So, have ya broken the news to him?"

Bella sighed. She looks amazing in this light.

"Yes I have. He hasn't had much of a reaction, but I'm sure he understands."

I rolled my eyes. This is a little too weird. What could Bella gain from this? Suddenly it clicked. The conversation we had last week. I was making fun of her, and said she would never be able to trick me. Oh man, this is good, but now it's my turn. As I was thinking Roberto spoke.

"You need more fat on ya, boy. I could eat ya for breakfast your so skinny."

I smiled. Bella obviously didn't clue this man in very much.

"Actually I bet I could eat you." I smiled wider, showing my row of white teeth.

Bella started to chew her bottom lip, she looked extremely nervous. Roberto laughed. His laugh echoes of the tress. Man, he sounds like Santa Claus.

"Boy, I could squish you flat."

Funny, this coming from a man that almost got his hand broken. An idea suddenly came to me.

"Roberto, I love Bella and I'm assuming you do as well. So why don't we have an arm wrestle for her love?"

As soon as the words were out of my mouth Bella screamed.

"No!"

Roberto patted her hand.

"Bella, this is my decision. I have to teach this boy a lesson. Don't worry I'll try not to hurt him."

"But…"

Roberto put two fingers to his lips.

"Quiet time, darling."

I tried my hardest not laugh. Wow, Bella sure can pick 'em.

"Alright Edward come inside to the table."

I followed him and Bella into the small wooden cabin. I can't imagine why anyone would want to live here. There was a bed in one corner along with a TV and chair. The rest of the cabin was a kitchen containing a table and four mismatched chairs. Roberto sat down in one of the table chairs and a very pale Bella took the seat next to him. I sat down beside Bella.

Roberto held out his hand to me. I grabbed it and prepared to fight. Right away I felt a tiny force trying to push my arm onto the table. At first I let it. But as soon as my arm was inches from the hard wood, I flicked my wrist and pinned his arm down. Before he could react I grabbed Bella and ran for the car. I buckled her up, jumped into the driver's seat and drove down the drive way.

"Damn." Bella muttered. "You figured it out, didn't you?"

"I told you, no one is able to trick me."

Bella's P.O.V 

Damn Edward. I was so close! I was sure he was falling for it.

"So Bella, who was that really?"

I sighed.

"My uncle" I had called him last week and asked him if he would go along with it. I thought it would work.

"Mmm… poor guy. He's a good actor though." Edward smiled.

I crossed my arms. This is so unfair.

Edward took a hold of my hand. "If it makes you feel better Bella, I'll buy you a pet chicken."

I hope this wasn't too confusing! R&R plz! I don't think I'll do a sequel. Or maybe I will, but with someone else trying to trick Edward. Evil Grin Tell me what you think!


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